I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
