He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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