I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
