The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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