Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
