Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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