Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
