were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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