They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
