When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He did a backflip because drugs
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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