he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
