its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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