oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
