Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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