If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
