need another drink. this is the easiest way
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
