I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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