I want to stick my p in your. b.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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