I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
