Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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