it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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