If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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