I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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