aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
