I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
