the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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