who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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