the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You ate ashes out of my bong
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
