i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
