they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
