well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
handjob tips. give me some.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
