First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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