if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
