uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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