hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
