It's just like the Real World with babies
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
