Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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