you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
