if i can run in heels then i can drive
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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