The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
