i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
