There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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