someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
