So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
