I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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