It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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