I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
