I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sorry about my life...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
