I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
don't judge my taste in strippers
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Shame - the story of my life.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
