If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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