ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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