well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
